The Stoner Pundit

Choose you're own slogan for this site, because I'm too stoned to figure one out: Higher Discourse for Higher Minded People. cool. way cool. Last week's news reported to you tomorrow. I'm fairly combative for a pothead. I've found a friend in weed. Pothead slackers unite! Because being a pothead is way better for society than being a loser meth addict.

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Out in front

It looks like I was actually out in front on the issue of our nuclear retaliation if Al Qaeda attacked us with nuclear weapons: read Nuclear Islam. I posted that on July 11th.

I also picked up on Tom Tancredo's comments well before the other big blogs out there: read Tancredo Fouls The Water from Captain's Quarters. I've really got to slow down. I don't usually blog on something until it's a dead story or it's been a week. I'm going to lose my slacker credentials.

The fine captain believes that it was stupid for Rep. Tancredo to comment in such a way and because he is a member of the government the Al-Jazeera's and Al Qaeda's of the world will surely propagandize this. Was he wrong though? Certainly we don't want to kill innocents if we don't have to.

But if you imagine that day, when NYC or DC or Philly is gone from the map, what will our response be? What will it have to be? Nuke Mecca? Possibly. If Al Qaeda doesn't understand nuclear deterrence, then that is what might have to occur.

One possibility is that a nuclear suitcase bomb is detonated in NYC. Al Qaeda takes credit, spreading their hateful venom across the world via audio or video tapes. They threaten to hit another American city within 48 hours if we don't stop backing Israel or leave Iraq immediately. What are we going to do then? Be blackmailed? If we do that we'll be blackmailed on every issue from then on. Only nuclear deterrence is going to work.

Let's say I'm Osama and you say that you're going to respond to a nuclear attack on an American city, with an attack in kind on Mecca, wouldn't I be a little afraid? Maybe try to find another way to terrorize the infidels without getting my holy city destroyed?

Tom Tancredo may have looked stupid under today's circumstances, but if a nuclear weapon is unleashed on our soil, will he still look that way?

Friday, July 15, 2005

Added a Blogroll

I rolled a blog! Usually I roll a spliff, but tonight I rolled a blog.

Finally got around to it. I must be motivated tonight. The stuff I'm smoking as a real "up" high. I feel a lot more energetic than with my usual ganja.

Auditions now open for Miss Stonerpundit!

My girlfriend threatened to leave me if didn't stop smoking pot. We argued for a little while and then I agreed to quit. Then we had wild makeup sex. Afterwards I lit a number and now she's gone, for good. It's funny her name was Mary Jane. The moral of the story is that it never hurts as much if you have one more for the road.

So now I'm left with a different Mary Jane, which is fine for awhile, but after a few weeks I'm going to need some serious sex. I thought I would start a contest where I would find my next girlfriend. So here goes.

I'm looking for women between the ages of 18-30. If you're interested in dating an intelligent pothead like myself, email me pictures of yourself (preferrably naked) to thestonerpundit at For the blondes that address is (just copy that into the box marked "To:" in your email program). Also include pertinent information regarding fetishes, kinks, your level of sexual activity, financial income, libido, and how often you promise to perform oral pleasure on The Stoner Pundit. Be creative; tell me all about yourself. Winner will be chosen solely by The Stoner Pundit and will be required to (buy and)smoke pot and have sex with The Stoner Pundit for at least 3 weeks straight. The Stoner Pundit makes no guarantees about his finances, personal life, sexual ability, and fetishes.

Just Thoughts

I ride mass transit to work fairly often. Since 7/7, I've become a bit paranoid, which is fairly normal for a pothead. What I'm talking about is way more paranoid than the usual run-of-the-mill paranoia.

Yesterday, I'm riding the Metro on my way home. A swarthy looking male sits down beside me with his bag. I'm like thinking "Great, this is how I'm going to go. I'll be blown to bits. They'll find my arms wrapped around the engine and my head outside on the pavement." Now, I know I was being paranoid, but I was still worried. The dude was reading a book. I was just hoping it wasn't the Koran. I don't want him sitting next to me saying his final prayers. It turned out to be a computer training manual.

Then this morning another swarthy male got on this bus. I tend to sit in the back of the bus, so I just hoped he wouldn't come to the back. I knew if he did, I would be worried the whole ride. He sat in the front and my fears were allayed.

Karl Rove

It's amazing to me how the media and Dems got into such a froth over the mere possibility that Karl Rove outed CIA agent Valerie Plame. Not all the evidence was in and they were going nuts calling for his resignation. Like it would make that big of a difference. Don't you think Bush would call him up from time to time anyways for advice on how to handle various political issues? It turns out even if he had outed her, it possibly (should I say probably) isn't a crime, because she's not "deep cover".

Is Rove the smartest political strategist out there? Was this all his ingenius master plan? Any intelligent journalist might have figured out that Rove knew he wasn't culpable when he allowed Matt Cooper to break their confidentiality agreement. If you don't have anything to hide then why hide it? This is something most journalists (and Dems) don't seem to understand. I don't know what they're smoking, but I want some. It's got to be some of that good Maui Wowie or Panama Red.

I'd talk more about this but other more motivated, non-stoned bloggers have put together enough info on "Rovegate 2005".

Instapundit has some good links.

Les Enfants Terrible has a great roundup. Here and here and here.

I'll pay $50

for someone to take a baseball bat to this guy's nuts. He should not be allowed to further procreate.

Coach Allegedly Paid Player to Hit Boy
PITTSBURGH - A T-ball coach allegedly paid one of his players $25 to hurt an 8-year-old mentally disabled teammate so he wouldn't have to put the boy in the game, police said Friday.

What's with these parents who are so ultracompetitive? The kids are 8! The Stoner Pundit is a slacker and you'll never find me paying anyone to beat up a kid, unless the little shit steals my pot or tries to call the cops on me. Then it would be okay.

I take back the $50 reward. I just realized I spent my last money on some fine BC pot. I don't even have enough money for Cheetos.

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

The Candidate

I was stoned off my arse yesterday afternoon, having taken the day off from work to do so, when I turned on HBO2 or 3 or whatever number it is on Directv, to see The Candidate was on. I had to watch it. I've seen the movie once when I was probably 12 or 13, but didn't remember that much about it other than it was about a political campaign and Robert Redford was in it.

Has anything changed politically in this country in the 33 years since this movie came out? Robert Redford was (and I believe is in real life) a Democrat. Even if they had renamed the parties to Political Party 1 and Political Party 2 for the movie, you would still know which was the Democrat and which was the Republican party.

Are we mindless rubes who listen to (and occasionally get excited about) the same recycled rhetoric? We've all been organized and put in our spot in suburbville or cubicle land at work. Or are we just being worked over in the same manner? It's all marketing and advertising really. For the most part we don't know what's happening in Washington. There are deals being made every day that we as citizens can't even comprehend. And we probably don't want to and we probably don't care.

Monday, July 11, 2005

Monkeys May Fly Out of Stoner Pundit's Butt

Breaking news at 11!

U.S. May Begin Iraq Troop Drawdown in '06

from Yahoo! News.

I love stupid headlines like this. Sure they may do that. And they may not. It's not really news then is it? We can all speculate. I've thought a time or two they would start reducing troop levels sometime in the next year or so. Ooh! I must be genius then.

Monkeys may flight out of my butt, but not likely. It will only be news if they do fly out of my butt. It's always a possibility.

Nuclear Islam

That's what we really fear isn't it? Radical muslims have shown complete disdain for our way of life. If they got their dirty little hands on the bomb, there is little doubt that they would use it to kill as many of us as possible. There can be no doubt Osama would incinerate as many of us infidels as possible.

The primary question is "Is there any deterrence for the Islamofascists from using a nuclear weapon on our shores?" We certainly won't use a nuclear weapon until provoked to that level. For the Left in this country there is no way we could possibly use our most powerful weapon unless there was strong enough evidence that someone else would use their nuclear weapon(s) first. So we have to prove that someone is going to use their nukes before we can use ours. It's impossible to prove what's going to happen without a time machine.

We will have to wait for a nuclear weapon to be used against us before we will use ours. The Left would not allow any other way. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to go blowing people up anymore than I want to be blown up. From a political standpoint, the use of nukes as an offensive weapon is largely out of the question. We (the US of A) will only be allowed (by the Left) to use these weapons in a defensive manner. That's the facts as they stand.

So we fast forward to 911 times 1000. Yes 911,000! Osama and friends get a suitcase nuke (or nukes) out of Russia, they transport it to New York or Washington. They detonate it, killing hundreds of thousands,if not millions of people. Do we stand in ruins as a country? I don't think so.

Even if several nukes reach our shores and are detonated in our largest cities, we still would number 250 million people strong with defense assets all over the globe. We have the nuclear payload to wipe all of Islam back to the stone age (Oh, wait, they're already there).

What are the implications of a nuclear weapon hitting our shores? What would our response be? Please comment.

It would take many years for us to recover, but in the end my guess is Islam and its followers would be worse off for it, because Osama doesn't understand the concept of nuclear deterrence. You attack us like that and we'll wipe you off the face of the earth. Osama and the jihadists better have more than a few nukes if they're going to bring down the "great Satan". Just using a few nukes on us and it will be like bringing a knife to a machine gun fight. There will be no one left in this country who disagrees with our use of nuclear weapons on Tehran, Cairo, Riyadh, etc.

I hope that day never comes.

UPDATE: Here's a link to where Representative Tom Tancredo (R-CO) talks of our response to a nuclear attack by Al Qaeda. Tancredo: Nuke Mecca If Attacked by Al Qaeda. I don't know much about this site so take it for what it's worth.

The Stonerpundit on weed

So where do I stand on the recent Supreme Court decision about marijuana? (I know this was like so two weeks ago, but as I say I'm usually stoned so sometimes I'm a little slow on the get go.) No More Medicinal Marijuana

You'd think being The Stoner Pundit, I would be totally for legalizing marijuana, but I'm not. I do think the court's decision is outrageous. It steps on states rights and shows that the court has little, if any, understanding of the concept of federalism. Just about everything comes under the interstate commerce clause as this court interprets it.

As it stands though, I prefer marijuana to be illegal. I like that feeling of being bad or getting away with something. If everyone was doing it, I'd have to find something else to do, like maybe smoke tobacco (it's illegal isn't?)

Don't get me wrong, too many people are clogging our court systems with marijuana crimes. We need to look at better policies to create better outcomes. For me, I'm too lazy (and stoned) to fight for what's right. It's easier just to hide in the shadows and get stoned. There are certainly bigger fish to fry from a narcotics standpoint. Cocaine, heroin, and meth are much more dangerous to our society than marijuana. Meth is becoming a huge problem in white, rural America (check out The Meth Toll) destroying lives, family, and the social fabric.

If a little weed may help terminally ill patients, what's the problem? They're friggin terminal! Oh so they may smoke weed and die a day or two earlier? States should be able to decide this issue, not 9 old farts.

Thursday, July 07, 2005

So you may ask -

Why do you lean to the right even though you're a stoner? Well I'm glad you asked. Or was it me thinking that you asked? I'm not sure if you did or didn't or if it was the dog talking to me again, but anyways I will answer the question.

I may be a pothead stoner, but I want to keep living so I can smoke pot and get stoned. The Democrats want us to feel for the terroristas. They want us to understand them.

I do understand them. They want us dead at any cost. So it must therefore be our duty to send them to their chosen hell, which is what GWB is doing. I don't like for us to have to fight a war. War is waste, but it is in this case an absolute necessity. The Democrats don't have the balls to fight this one. So I'm leaning right for now.

Bush could be a better president, but John Kerry was not the answer to the question who would be a better president, Geore W Bush or John Kerry?

Eventually I'm going

to get around to putting some cool stuff on this site like maybe a blogroll and some decent regular posts, but smoking ganja usually takes precedent. I mean you have to have your priorities.
Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.


"The Secret Cell of Al-Qa'ida of Jihad Group in Europe"

Is there anything tackier than this terrorists group name? It sounds like a name some white kids would come up for their stupid rap group, such as "The Bad Ass Posse of the Suburban Ghetto on Fifth Avenue".

I doubt these punks even have anything to do with Al Qaeda. I mean if you are just say you're from Al Qaeda. That's scary enough. Do you get extra props for the extra words in your group name? They just sound like wannabes to me. They thought "what the hell I'm a muslim, I can kill people just like Osama, and then I can get my 72 virgins."

Though I'm making light of this, I do want to extend my prayers to those in need. It's horrible and we should fucking castrate these dudes and wrap their genitals in pig skin, while we laugh at how small their penises are. Okay, so I'm a little pissed, but I haven't hit the bong pipe just yet.

Here's a good link to a round up of the terrorist bongings, er I mean bombings in London. This dude's got it covered. Al-Qaida Bombings Rock London

Wednesday, July 06, 2005


You have to see this week's episode of HBO's "Entourage". Bob Saget as a sex addicted drug fiend? That makes for some excellent pay television. That episode right there made paying 12 bucks for HBO worth it for an entire month.

I'll have more to post when I get motivated to do it. I think I'm gonna have to hit the fridge in a little bit. I like pot but the munchies I could do without.

I like was going to blog something

but I forgot what it was.

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Iran's new president

From Sunday's Cincinnati Enquirer What did he do in college?

Given that Ahmadinejad is considered a hard-liner not expected to make friendly overtures to the United States, it is curious to see him backpedaling from one of the high points of the Islamic revolution. Wouldn't having been one of the guys who got on the nightly news by demonizing the "Great Satan" be worth political bragging rights in Iran?

I'm stoned right now, but I'm pretty sure that he'd be just a little worried
that we would use that as a casus belli. Oh yeah? Not so proud of what you did now are you? We should've taken these Iranians down when we had the chance, but Carter wussed out. We should go after him and his friend, Sister Mary, too.

I'm way to much for kickin ass to be a stoner. I need to calm down a little.

Monday, July 04, 2005

I gotta go


I haven't

killed my dog yet. He's still looking at me, though. Son of a bitch.

Let's talk about the blog

The blogosphere is an amazing development in the history of humanity. As much as the inventions of railroads or automobiles. It is a transfomation of how we simple human beings can communicate with each other.

Gutenberg's printing press is almost nothing as compared to how we use the internet today. The printing press required that you had enough money to buy or lease a printing press. The blogosphere is free to anyone who can find an internet connection. You can find that at your public library. In foreign countries, I'm not sure how that is with the differing levels of freedom that nations of the world have. Access levels vary from country to country.

You suddenly have the power to change society culturally and even globally. If you're smart enough. If you're innovative enough. If your ideas hold sway, you can change how the business and political spheres operate. Your voice can be heard! Just go to blogger dot com to get your own blog. It's free, but you have to be literate. If your not literate you have no chance to survive in a future society.

Ideas and information flow across the globe almost instantaneously. This will surely transform the way peoples of different cultures and creed interact with each other.

Will the best ideas win out? Or will it eventually wind up being a place that likes pro wrestling? Will it feed the lowest common denominator in our American society? These are the important questions mankind faces.

The dog

like looked at me for 17 minutes straight. I think he wants to kill me.

Oh no! He just walked into the room again. He's eyeing me suspiciously... There, there boy. I love you baby. Hey what's the problem? Don't growl at me.

I may have to kill the little fucker! I love him. He's been my dog for 7 years. But I will take him down if I have to. You can bet on that.

That's it! I just got the munchies.

5 chicken wings and some beer. Sounds good. Might have to hit some chocolate later. Yeah...Good Buzz.

Oh yeah I remember it...

no, no, I forgot it again.

I like forgot what I was going to post.


has seemed to stand still for the last, oh, hour or so.

I thought green was the perfect color

for this I mean online magazine. Since I'm into smoking a little green, I thought it would be perfect.